JOAN LAU: So, what's the dirt on this or that guy?
Who among us has not rubbed our hands in glee (well, in our minds at least) when the DJs on radio dish out the latest dirt on Lindsay Lohan or Britney Spears? Even if you do not actively seek out the gossip, it is still fun to listen to or read about their latest silliness. Right?
Never mind that we don't know them or have any idea if what is being said about them is true. It's just a bit of harmless gossip. Or is it?
Many weeks ago, I heard a snippet on radio about Britney's plan for her child's birthday party. I cannot remember the details now but I do recall the radio announcers laughing and calling her trailer park trash.
And that was when it hit me. We -- confession: I have done it too -- take way too much pleasure in other people's missteps. Don't you think? Imagine calling someone trailer park trash because they want to have monster trucks or something like that for their child's birthday party.
We know too much about other people's private lives, don't you think? All those magazines and TV shows that feature the clothes, homes and families of singers, actors and various other minor celebrities.
Why this need to know? There is a whole channel on Astro -- E! -- devoted to this hunger for news on celebrities.
The channel is your TV equivalent of junk food. You know it's bad for you but once you go there... you get sucked in. Needless to say, E! is hugely popular.
Fanzines, gossip pages, entire TV channels: I dare say there are many people out there who know more about the original cast of Beverly Hills 90210 than they do about their own MP or country's history.
So what makes us love reading about or laughing at celebrities? Do we want to be like them? Or does reading about their exploits make us feel better about ourselves?
The latter reminds me of what a colleague once said about a fellow colleague who just loved putting other people down: "He steps on people so he can appear taller."
I have not thought about that profound bit of insight for many years now.
But it's a pretty accurate take on why we love gossiping about people we don't know... and yes, even those we do. In fact, it applies particularly to the latter.
Just the other day I had lunch with an ex-colleague and the conversation meandered to what was new in my old office.
It was a lovely catch-up but no gossip was shared. We spoke about work, how other people were doing but no, no gossip.
So yes, it is possible. The thing is not to share or pass on "loose talk". Easier said than done, I know. It's so much fun to speculate: did so-and-so's wife get her face done? Who sent flowers to the new girl? Was it the boss? After all, he has a weakness for sweet young things.
Nobody is above or safe from gossip. It starts early; think back to your time in school or university. Wasn't there some girl or boy who was the favourite target of classroom gossip? Growing up, I remember there was this one girl in our school who suddenly "disappeared". The talk was that she had become pregnant and had left town to have her baby.
I didn't even know her -- she was two years my senior -- but that bit of unverified information made the rounds. Even the boys at our brother school -- St Michael's Institution -- got to know about it.
I have often thought that one of the rites of passage we all have to go through is learning how to deal with gossip.
That's because sooner or later, you become the subject of all that talking. Example: you do well in your job and get promoted and next thing you know, people are saying you must be sleeping with the boss.
Does that sound extreme? Well, it's not actually. In fact, it is very often the first thing people assume when a woman is fast-tracked in her career. These days, office gossip can spread even faster and more efficiently with email and SMSes.
So yes, we all do it. Gossip. We share bits of news about politicians, celebrities, our colleagues and each other. It just goes on and on. I have read authoritative comments on news portals and blogs about newsmakers which I know for a fact to be completely false.
Sure, the truth is always less colourful. It is bland and unexciting. Someone got a promotion because she was good at her job. Simple. But no... she wears blue eye-shadow and does not mix with the others in the office... so sombong... so she must be sleeping with the boss.
And it is not just women who gossip. Men do it all the time. They may call it networking or (this is my favourite) intelligence gathering, but it's gossip.
One of my friends calls it gathering dirt and that is exactly what it is, right? We want to know the dirt about someone and very often we don't even care if it is true.
Well, it's appalling and I can't stop other people from doing it. But you know what, I can stop myself.
Never mind that we don't know them or have any idea if what is being said about them is true. It's just a bit of harmless gossip. Or is it?
Many weeks ago, I heard a snippet on radio about Britney's plan for her child's birthday party. I cannot remember the details now but I do recall the radio announcers laughing and calling her trailer park trash.
And that was when it hit me. We -- confession: I have done it too -- take way too much pleasure in other people's missteps. Don't you think? Imagine calling someone trailer park trash because they want to have monster trucks or something like that for their child's birthday party.
We know too much about other people's private lives, don't you think? All those magazines and TV shows that feature the clothes, homes and families of singers, actors and various other minor celebrities.
Why this need to know? There is a whole channel on Astro -- E! -- devoted to this hunger for news on celebrities.
The channel is your TV equivalent of junk food. You know it's bad for you but once you go there... you get sucked in. Needless to say, E! is hugely popular.
Fanzines, gossip pages, entire TV channels: I dare say there are many people out there who know more about the original cast of Beverly Hills 90210 than they do about their own MP or country's history.
So what makes us love reading about or laughing at celebrities? Do we want to be like them? Or does reading about their exploits make us feel better about ourselves?
The latter reminds me of what a colleague once said about a fellow colleague who just loved putting other people down: "He steps on people so he can appear taller."
I have not thought about that profound bit of insight for many years now.
But it's a pretty accurate take on why we love gossiping about people we don't know... and yes, even those we do. In fact, it applies particularly to the latter.
Just the other day I had lunch with an ex-colleague and the conversation meandered to what was new in my old office.
It was a lovely catch-up but no gossip was shared. We spoke about work, how other people were doing but no, no gossip.
So yes, it is possible. The thing is not to share or pass on "loose talk". Easier said than done, I know. It's so much fun to speculate: did so-and-so's wife get her face done? Who sent flowers to the new girl? Was it the boss? After all, he has a weakness for sweet young things.
Nobody is above or safe from gossip. It starts early; think back to your time in school or university. Wasn't there some girl or boy who was the favourite target of classroom gossip? Growing up, I remember there was this one girl in our school who suddenly "disappeared". The talk was that she had become pregnant and had left town to have her baby.
I didn't even know her -- she was two years my senior -- but that bit of unverified information made the rounds. Even the boys at our brother school -- St Michael's Institution -- got to know about it.
I have often thought that one of the rites of passage we all have to go through is learning how to deal with gossip.
That's because sooner or later, you become the subject of all that talking. Example: you do well in your job and get promoted and next thing you know, people are saying you must be sleeping with the boss.
Does that sound extreme? Well, it's not actually. In fact, it is very often the first thing people assume when a woman is fast-tracked in her career. These days, office gossip can spread even faster and more efficiently with email and SMSes.
So yes, we all do it. Gossip. We share bits of news about politicians, celebrities, our colleagues and each other. It just goes on and on. I have read authoritative comments on news portals and blogs about newsmakers which I know for a fact to be completely false.
Sure, the truth is always less colourful. It is bland and unexciting. Someone got a promotion because she was good at her job. Simple. But no... she wears blue eye-shadow and does not mix with the others in the office... so sombong... so she must be sleeping with the boss.
And it is not just women who gossip. Men do it all the time. They may call it networking or (this is my favourite) intelligence gathering, but it's gossip.
One of my friends calls it gathering dirt and that is exactly what it is, right? We want to know the dirt about someone and very often we don't even care if it is true.
Well, it's appalling and I can't stop other people from doing it. But you know what, I can stop myself.
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